What is love to you? Truly ask yourself: How do I love? Do you love based on how you feel? Do you love only when you experience an emotion that gives you satisfaction and a dopamine rush? What happens when that feeling fades—does your love disappear with it?

Love is often seen as the fabric that holds our world together. Think about it—what is the most talked-about, sought-after, and desired thing in life? It’s love.

If love is what you are chasing, then the meaning and motives behind it matter most. If you see love as a selfish act, you will use people for your own advantage. If you see love as only a dopamine hit, you’ll only love people when it seems pleasurable to you. So the real question is: What are your motives behind why you love?

“Let all that you do be done in love.” — 1 Corinthians 16:14

Our society follows a “I want, I get” mindset. If we don’t get what we want, we withhold love. This means that in marriage, when your spouse does something you don’t like (which is inevitable), they suddenly don’t “deserve” your love. But the truth is, no person on this planet will ever meet all your expectations.

You and I are not perfect. We have flaws. We cannot fully satisfy anyone with perfect love, yet we often act as if we have it all together. But we don’t. And God saw this. By society’s standards, we don’t deserve love. Yet, when God saw our brokenness, He gave us a love we didn’t deserve. A love that wasn’t based on feelings or emotions, but on action. That action was sending His only Son for you and me.

“But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” — Romans 5:8

God didn’t look at your flaws and decide whether or not you were worthy of love. He saw you as someone worth dying for—not because of what you’ve done, but because of who He is.

“We love because He first loved us.” — 1 John 4:19

And now, God gives us the opportunity to love each other in the same way. Just as He gave His Son’s life, we can give our lives to serving others—loving not based on what others do, but simply because we choose to love. This is sacrificial love: a love that does not demand anything in return, a love that remains steadfast regardless of feelings and emotions.

“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” — John 15:13